What does my hairstyle & caucasian women's happiness have in common??

"I just love your hair."  That's what she said to me as she leaned in with a jolly whisper.  "It just makes me happy."  With all that's going on in the world, we need something to make us happy." "Don't you agree?"  She said with a big grin spreading from ear to ear.  I smiled and nodded in the affirmative.

I was sitting inside of my former favorite coffee shop chain "The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf" in Santa Barbara working, when this jolly faced lady in her mid 60's moved in close to me.  I'm used to people making comments, giving me odd looks and/or  complimenting my hairstyle.  What I still haven't gotten used to, is those people being older caucasian men AND women.  I get more compliments about my hair from older caucasian men; then ANY other ethnic group of people.  They'll say things like:

.  I love that hair do you got going there

.  That's some wild and crazy hair you got there

.  Now you... You're unique!

.  I can tell...you're a wild woman

.  Your hair is art

.  I wonder if I could do that to my hair

 It's just mind boggling to me.  When I think of a sixty, seventy or even eighty-something year old caucasian man's idea of beauty,   long and silky straight hair comes to mind. Obviously, I'm wrong. Maybe if we stop stereotyping people and putting them in a box, we'll all learn something about other cultures. I know what you're thinking.  There Fee King goes with the race thing again.  I'm simply speaking the truth. If they were Native-American or Middle-Eastern people complimenting my hair, I would describe them as such.  Women of color have fought so hard and for so long for the right to wear our hair in it's natural state.  We'v finally gotten some people to stop referring to our hair as the (Negative) Nappy, opting for the more politically correct and softer term of Kinky.

I, personally, find it very flattering that my hairstyle evokes a positive response while making others feel happy.  Because I don't have to spend more than two to three minutes daily combing  my hair  or spend much time at the hair salon, that makes me VERY happy.  If my crazy highlighted fro-hawk hairstyle  makes people happy and smile, I say that's a WIN/WIN. And life can be a WIN/WIN

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Sticks & Stones may break your bones; but names can hurt you too!

Valentine day Is the BIGGEST sham of a Holiday!  C'mon! How sad is it that we believe we need a specially designated day to determine if we love, how we love and then tells us how to show that love, via buying gifts and chocolates. Get the freak outta here.   Valentine Day has to be the most overly commercialized holiday that  has women losing their freakin-A minds over if they get a gift and what kind of gift it is.  Really?  I haven’t been into Valentine day since grade school when my mom bought a bag of those pastel colored heart shaped sweet tarts for me to pass out in class. And the candy was nasty. It was like eating a dry, powdery piece of particle board.  I’m just saying! I always felt like it was too much pressure for me to pretend I liked him more than I really did, for the sake of this one day. And too much pressure for men to buy women shit we really don’t need,  for the sake of justifying his Love, Like or Lust for us. It’s ALL a bunch of crap.  Okay! Glad I got that off of my chest.

I didn’t even realize it was Valentine Day, until I got a call from one of my neighbors.  I was sitting outside of the Coffee Bean in Palm Springs debating on whether I should get a coffee, in near 90 degree weather, minutes before my first 25-mile bike ride.  I decided to answer my cell phone instead to take my mind off of what lay ahead of me.  

The voice on the other end was my neighbor. Initially, I thought something was wrong Dychess, my awesome cat. My neighbor proceeds to share with me a conversation he had with another female neighbor of ours. Some of you may already know this about me and if you’re my neighbor, I hope this doesn’t come as too much of a surprise.  I don’t particularly care for most of my neighbors. They are simply not my cup of tea.  The neighbor phoning me, just so happens to be one of the few that I really like. Not only do I like him, but I have a lot of respect for this guy. He tells me the female neighbor of ours had some very harsh things to say about his character.  According to him, she really hurt his feelings.  It’s not easy for a man to show his vulnerable side; so I knew I needed to lend him my ear. This, coming from a very mature man was touching to me. The fact that he chose to share this with me, confirmed what I already know to be true; which is men do have feelings. They may not show it in the same way that women do.  That’s because they’re from Venus and we’re from Mars. They not only have feelings, but they feel things very deeply.

This particular neighbor of mine, lost a client over the weekend.  He’s having new girlfriend issues.  And then this female neighbor assassinates his character… on Valentine day. WTFreak has the world come to.  I lovingly encouraged him to find a way to smile, be grateful for his life and to not let the opinions of others dictate who he is and how he should behave. After all, look at the source. I’m just saying!

My take away from this experience is that we, women, have to be mindful of how we speak to not only  men, but to one another. You never know when someone is having a challenging time in their life.  We all have something and on any given day, might really be going through the storm. We might also want to be mindful to not project our own stuff onto others. Love is the NEW Commodity!

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl - Fee King

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Get your balls off of my back: Day 26 of Yoga!

I like affection!  There...I said it.  There is no better feeling than someone giving you a hug, a light tap on your arm or a pat on the back.  As of late, the best form of affection is when my yoga teacher comes over to me and pushes the small of my lower back down a litter father helping me to sit back deep into  child's pose.  It's amazing how they are able to squeeze a little more space allowing you to stretch that much further.  When this happens, I can't help but look up to see if the yoga teacher is doing that for anyone else. I don't care of the yogi is male or female; as long as they put their hands on me. It's the narcissist in me. lol

In all truth, we all like to be made to feel that we are special. I am no different. Although I know I am special and not short bus special, but special in my own unique, quirky, gifted and SPECIAL way. It feels good when others acknowledge my specialness.  OR, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Could my  yoga teacher simply be adjusting my form or  pressing my lower bum down because they know I can go further?  I have to rethink this whole thing now. This yoga has me thinking all kinds of things. I guess I need to continue working on my breath.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl - Fee King
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Are you the NEW Black?

Today is day 24 of my 30-day yoga journey. I'm up early; as in O'dark thirty; which translates to 6:00 a.m. in order to make my 7:30 a.m. yoga class with Rebecca; who just so happens to be a beautiful woman of color from the East Coast.

Now, I know a lot of you "NEW Black" folks are wondering, why does Fee King focus so much on race, nationality or ethnicity?  I can tell you are the "NEW Black" if you are asking yourself this question. It's because Fee King LOVES contrast. I love that which is different and unique. If we were all made the same, how boring a Nation and World would this be. With these differences, come some obvious truths.  That's what I want to share with my people today.  Not until I recently began my yoga journey, did I fully realize that I, Fee King, am a NOT the "NEW Black". I know this because, here are a few things that the NEW Black do that I don't:

.  They swim
.  They don't have rhythm
.  They aren't athletic
.  They attended an Ivy League School without Financial Aid or a scholarship
.  They put their three and four month old babies in swim classes
.  They eat Raw and Vegan (Exclusively)
.  They've been practicing YOGA for years.

Obviously, I don't know very many of these new blacks; because where I'm from and the era I grew up in such a thing just did not exist.  LOL

The fact that I am loving yoga brings my attention to the fact that I am not alone when I make this statement; which is a lot of people in my previous social circle didn't grow up with an awareness to yoga. I watched a show on "E" network a couple years ago about Ashley Judd. She said her GRANDMOTHER introduced her to yoga. WTF! I didn't dare say this outloud, but I thought yoga was new. I'm going to stop there. No, I'm not showing my ignorance, but my vulnerability. Know the difference between the two.  LOL

I consider myself to be one who straddles the fence between "The NEW and The OLD Black", I am happy to see more Black-American's embracing change. I am happy to see more of my sisters and brothers seeking things, people and opportunities outside of OUR immediate environment. I know some of my foreign transplant sisters and brothas are reading this and saying to themselves, "Hey, Wait a minute. "I can't relate to some of the  things the "NEW BLACKS" can; so I, too, must be a "NEW Black".  To them I say, "Hey! "Watch ya mouth." "You can be your own NEW. But, you can't be "The NEW Black."  That title is taken. Free at last! Free at last. Thank God Al Mighty - we're FREE at last.

I am on a journey that is taking me to places I couldn't even imagine. Today, I am grateful that I stepped out of my comfort zone and my little box that was Omaha, NE- to experience ALL that Is...All that is Possible and ALL that I AM becoming.  I am grateful that I finally surrendered to Yoga. It is by far, the best gift I've given my whole self, in a long time.

I just keep going back because I know it works.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl  - Fee King
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