What does my hairstyle & caucasian women's happiness have in common??

"I just love your hair."  That's what she said to me as she leaned in with a jolly whisper.  "It just makes me happy."  With all that's going on in the world, we need something to make us happy." "Don't you agree?"  She said with a big grin spreading from ear to ear.  I smiled and nodded in the affirmative.

I was sitting inside of my former favorite coffee shop chain "The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf" in Santa Barbara working, when this jolly faced lady in her mid 60's moved in close to me.  I'm used to people making comments, giving me odd looks and/or  complimenting my hairstyle.  What I still haven't gotten used to, is those people being older caucasian men AND women.  I get more compliments about my hair from older caucasian men; then ANY other ethnic group of people.  They'll say things like:

.  I love that hair do you got going there

.  That's some wild and crazy hair you got there

.  Now you... You're unique!

.  I can tell...you're a wild woman

.  Your hair is art

.  I wonder if I could do that to my hair

 It's just mind boggling to me.  When I think of a sixty, seventy or even eighty-something year old caucasian man's idea of beauty,   long and silky straight hair comes to mind. Obviously, I'm wrong. Maybe if we stop stereotyping people and putting them in a box, we'll all learn something about other cultures. I know what you're thinking.  There Fee King goes with the race thing again.  I'm simply speaking the truth. If they were Native-American or Middle-Eastern people complimenting my hair, I would describe them as such.  Women of color have fought so hard and for so long for the right to wear our hair in it's natural state.  We'v finally gotten some people to stop referring to our hair as the (Negative) Nappy, opting for the more politically correct and softer term of Kinky.

I, personally, find it very flattering that my hairstyle evokes a positive response while making others feel happy.  Because I don't have to spend more than two to three minutes daily combing  my hair  or spend much time at the hair salon, that makes me VERY happy.  If my crazy highlighted fro-hawk hairstyle  makes people happy and smile, I say that's a WIN/WIN. And life can be a WIN/WIN

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Sticks & Stones may break your bones; but names can hurt you too!

Valentine day Is the BIGGEST sham of a Holiday!  C'mon! How sad is it that we believe we need a specially designated day to determine if we love, how we love and then tells us how to show that love, via buying gifts and chocolates. Get the freak outta here.   Valentine Day has to be the most overly commercialized holiday that  has women losing their freakin-A minds over if they get a gift and what kind of gift it is.  Really?  I haven’t been into Valentine day since grade school when my mom bought a bag of those pastel colored heart shaped sweet tarts for me to pass out in class. And the candy was nasty. It was like eating a dry, powdery piece of particle board.  I’m just saying! I always felt like it was too much pressure for me to pretend I liked him more than I really did, for the sake of this one day. And too much pressure for men to buy women shit we really don’t need,  for the sake of justifying his Love, Like or Lust for us. It’s ALL a bunch of crap.  Okay! Glad I got that off of my chest.

I didn’t even realize it was Valentine Day, until I got a call from one of my neighbors.  I was sitting outside of the Coffee Bean in Palm Springs debating on whether I should get a coffee, in near 90 degree weather, minutes before my first 25-mile bike ride.  I decided to answer my cell phone instead to take my mind off of what lay ahead of me.  

The voice on the other end was my neighbor. Initially, I thought something was wrong Dychess, my awesome cat. My neighbor proceeds to share with me a conversation he had with another female neighbor of ours. Some of you may already know this about me and if you’re my neighbor, I hope this doesn’t come as too much of a surprise.  I don’t particularly care for most of my neighbors. They are simply not my cup of tea.  The neighbor phoning me, just so happens to be one of the few that I really like. Not only do I like him, but I have a lot of respect for this guy. He tells me the female neighbor of ours had some very harsh things to say about his character.  According to him, she really hurt his feelings.  It’s not easy for a man to show his vulnerable side; so I knew I needed to lend him my ear. This, coming from a very mature man was touching to me. The fact that he chose to share this with me, confirmed what I already know to be true; which is men do have feelings. They may not show it in the same way that women do.  That’s because they’re from Venus and we’re from Mars. They not only have feelings, but they feel things very deeply.

This particular neighbor of mine, lost a client over the weekend.  He’s having new girlfriend issues.  And then this female neighbor assassinates his character… on Valentine day. WTFreak has the world come to.  I lovingly encouraged him to find a way to smile, be grateful for his life and to not let the opinions of others dictate who he is and how he should behave. After all, look at the source. I’m just saying!

My take away from this experience is that we, women, have to be mindful of how we speak to not only  men, but to one another. You never know when someone is having a challenging time in their life.  We all have something and on any given day, might really be going through the storm. We might also want to be mindful to not project our own stuff onto others. Love is the NEW Commodity!

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl - Fee King

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Get your balls off of my back: Day 26 of Yoga!

I like affection!  There...I said it.  There is no better feeling than someone giving you a hug, a light tap on your arm or a pat on the back.  As of late, the best form of affection is when my yoga teacher comes over to me and pushes the small of my lower back down a litter father helping me to sit back deep into  child's pose.  It's amazing how they are able to squeeze a little more space allowing you to stretch that much further.  When this happens, I can't help but look up to see if the yoga teacher is doing that for anyone else. I don't care of the yogi is male or female; as long as they put their hands on me. It's the narcissist in me. lol

In all truth, we all like to be made to feel that we are special. I am no different. Although I know I am special and not short bus special, but special in my own unique, quirky, gifted and SPECIAL way. It feels good when others acknowledge my specialness.  OR, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Could my  yoga teacher simply be adjusting my form or  pressing my lower bum down because they know I can go further?  I have to rethink this whole thing now. This yoga has me thinking all kinds of things. I guess I need to continue working on my breath.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl - Fee King
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Are you the NEW Black?

Today is day 24 of my 30-day yoga journey. I'm up early; as in O'dark thirty; which translates to 6:00 a.m. in order to make my 7:30 a.m. yoga class with Rebecca; who just so happens to be a beautiful woman of color from the East Coast.

Now, I know a lot of you "NEW Black" folks are wondering, why does Fee King focus so much on race, nationality or ethnicity?  I can tell you are the "NEW Black" if you are asking yourself this question. It's because Fee King LOVES contrast. I love that which is different and unique. If we were all made the same, how boring a Nation and World would this be. With these differences, come some obvious truths.  That's what I want to share with my people today.  Not until I recently began my yoga journey, did I fully realize that I, Fee King, am a NOT the "NEW Black". I know this because, here are a few things that the NEW Black do that I don't:

.  They swim
.  They don't have rhythm
.  They aren't athletic
.  They attended an Ivy League School without Financial Aid or a scholarship
.  They put their three and four month old babies in swim classes
.  They eat Raw and Vegan (Exclusively)
.  They've been practicing YOGA for years.

Obviously, I don't know very many of these new blacks; because where I'm from and the era I grew up in such a thing just did not exist.  LOL

The fact that I am loving yoga brings my attention to the fact that I am not alone when I make this statement; which is a lot of people in my previous social circle didn't grow up with an awareness to yoga. I watched a show on "E" network a couple years ago about Ashley Judd. She said her GRANDMOTHER introduced her to yoga. WTF! I didn't dare say this outloud, but I thought yoga was new. I'm going to stop there. No, I'm not showing my ignorance, but my vulnerability. Know the difference between the two.  LOL

I consider myself to be one who straddles the fence between "The NEW and The OLD Black", I am happy to see more Black-American's embracing change. I am happy to see more of my sisters and brothers seeking things, people and opportunities outside of OUR immediate environment. I know some of my foreign transplant sisters and brothas are reading this and saying to themselves, "Hey, Wait a minute. "I can't relate to some of the  things the "NEW BLACKS" can; so I, too, must be a "NEW Black".  To them I say, "Hey! "Watch ya mouth." "You can be your own NEW. But, you can't be "The NEW Black."  That title is taken. Free at last! Free at last. Thank God Al Mighty - we're FREE at last.

I am on a journey that is taking me to places I couldn't even imagine. Today, I am grateful that I stepped out of my comfort zone and my little box that was Omaha, NE- to experience ALL that Is...All that is Possible and ALL that I AM becoming.  I am grateful that I finally surrendered to Yoga. It is by far, the best gift I've given my whole self, in a long time.

I just keep going back because I know it works.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl  - Fee King
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A girls' FIRST Love is her Father; regardless if she has one or not!!

I

I’ve been in love with the idea, concept and the reality of choo choo trains since I was a small child. As I head out onto the platform to catch the Amtrak train from Van Nuys to Santa Barbara, for the day, I start to get sentimental. I quietly ask myself, What is it about trains that you love soo much and why”?  Then I remember who introduced me to trains.

I took my first cross-country train trip from Los Angeles, Ca  to Washington D.C four years ago to visit my sister. It was AMAZING! Except, that not until I boarded the train, did i realize the windows didn’t open and I am claustrophobic. I was on that train for three days. The mind is a powerful thing. It can talk you off the ledge if you listen to it. I got to see the Country side from the West Coast through the Midwest ending on the East Coast. It was quite magical. Another bucket list item checked off.

As  I look down the platform awaiting my train, I see a train off to the left side with the words Union pacific, in Big, Bold, Bright red letters painted along its side. That’s when it hit me. I love trains, because I loved my father. He was the one who introduced me to trains. He was the one who gave me my very first Union Pacific RailRoad overalls wearing teddy bear. My father worked for Omaha’s Union Pacific RailRoad.

Although, I don’t have a relationship with my father; I force myself to focus on the good memories I have of him.  And there were soo many good memories.  He WAS a good father.

We have a choice in life. We sometimes forget that focusing on and constantly rehashing our painful child memories, continue to allow us to live our lives as the victim. 

“Look what he did to me.”  “Can you believe what he/she said to me?”  

I know first hand, that this negative self talk is detrimental to my mental, emotional and most importantly….my Spiritual growth.

I’ll always love trains and I’ll always love my father.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl - Fee King 

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I'm TERRIFIED every time I walk into a Yoga Studio: Day 12

Day 12 @ Sweat yoga. Call me a little dramatic. But I am TERRIFIED every time I walk into a yoga studio. Now, I LOVE everything about this new studio I happened upon in Santa Monica, called SweatYoga. The instructors, Layna D and Jackie are wonderful. This studio is so new, it still has that fresh, clean and new hard wood floor and non-toxic paint  smell to it. As i’ve shared before, I've NOT been a fan of Hot yoga since the last time I slightly passed out in a Bikram yoga class about three years ago. I say slightly, because I was conscious enough to crawl my way off of my dripping wet mat,  out of the door,  into the lobby where I dramatically collapsed onto the floor.

As my body begins to heat up from child’s pose and down dog along with the mild, yet bearable heat in the room, I’m reminded that my uterus has been invaded by non-cancerous tumors.  I can, at times, feel them pressed up against my mat when I’m in child’s pose.  I can also feel them pressing up against my chest as I bend into the triangle pose. This is when fear creeps into my subconscious and I begin to panick. Typically, feeling this foreign mass accompanies some sort of pain or discomfort. Then, i’m reminded to breathe. It’s the most natural function that the mind and body knows how to do; is to breath.  I begin to breath deeply and purposefully.

In the past, there were certain poses that caused my fibroids or the scar tissue from the fibroid procedures Ive had, to flare up. Although the pain isn’t unbearable; it’s what comes along with the pain that TERRIFIES me. It’s the contractions in my lower right abdomen.  It’s when that area of my tummy literally expands and protrudes and then locks up. There’s this mass that builds in my lower-right abdomen area causing my breathing to become labored. I have thoughts of losing control and not being able to breathe my way back to what i consider normalcy.  Although this experience lasts for about five to seven minutes, it feels like a lingering earthquake in my stomach.  The thought of experiencing this type of discomfort and loss of control, affects my ability to fully relax,  let go and full experience my practice.  That's why it's called  a "Practice".  This is why I NEED yoga. Not to say I don’t want and need the running, spinning, pilates, marathons, 3 and 5 k's and weight training; because I do.  However, this is why I continue to push through my fear and do it anyway. This is why, today, i’m on day 12 of 30-days of yoga. Although my goal was to engage in 30-days of daily yoga, I have given myself a pass in knowing i am doing the absolute best I can to show up for myself. SO, when I’m unable to get to a yoga class, I’ll get in a 30-45 minute yoga session in my very tiny apartment or I’ll get in a good workout at 24-hour fitness followed up by some yoga stretches.

Some of the reasons why I am falling in love with YOGA:

.  I sweat from the ROOTY to the TOOTY!

.  I feel connected to my Body and my Breath

.  I feel Empowered and that my desires are POSSIBLE

.  My flexibility is Improving

.  I feel and see my core tightening and shrinking

Since embarking on this journey, January 1, 2015 - I wake up excited about taking yoga. I wake up excited knowing that i’m in control of my mind, body and my decisions. That’s why I’ve decided to include yoga into my lifestyle.  Tell me what changes, inclusions and improvements you’ve made since 2015?

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl

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Have you found your perfect fit? Day 7 & 8 of 30-days of YOGA

In 2009 I was introduced to a book titled "Ask and It IS Given" By:  Esther and Jerry Hicks. I have read this book TWELVE times. Yes. Twelve. This books has been the MOST important piece of writing next to "You are Born Rich" By: Bob Proctor. I now ask and expect to receive that which I ask for.

What I know to be Absolute TRUE is this:

. Growing pains are inevitable to shift your consciousness

.  With Growth & Expansion come obstacles

.  The ONLY reason WE don't have the things we say we want; is because of the thoughts we hold around those things

.  I can Be...Do and Have everything I want AND need

.  Whatever needs to happen for me to get where I'm going...WILL happen

.  I AM  the most important person in my life

My mission to practice 30-days of yoga everyday has been no easy feat. Six days into this journey, I got sick. Not very sick, just a head cold that left my body tired and run down. I knew this was apart of the process and apart of my journey. As much I tried to resist it and push through it; it persisted. I would go to sleep every night, for four nights in a row, planning where I would practice yoga the next day. By morning, the harsh reality that my body was not ready, was crystal clear.

I took FOUR days in a row off from working out and yoga. I started to get a little sad, this past Saturday, when I layed on the couch ALL day. I so badly wanted to move. Instead,  I listened to my body and I am better for it. Those four days off allowed my mind and body to rest. 

Have you ever wanted something so bad, you could see it. Not only could you see it, you could attach colors to it. You could taste and smell it. You could even attach a feeling to it. I even know what kinds of clothes I'll be wearing as I image my new and improved better self. That's the place I've been at in my life for a few years.  This year, 2015, is the first time in nearly five years that  I know exactly what I want for my life. I know exactly what I want to feel like, behave and walk like and how I want to look. I know how I want to move through the Universe; which is  with ease and grace

By day 5 of my cold, I felt like I was at 80% It  was time to get back to my mission. It was time to try the new Sweat yoga. The name didn't initially indicate, to me, that this was a hot yoga studio. Duh! I didn't find out until the night before, when I went online to print out the schedule. I barely slept that night, for having anxieties around passing out in this hot yoga studio. I envisioned these experienced yogi girls with their hard tail or lulu lemon pants with the matching bra tops on just flying through the poses. 

I arrived to a fresh smelling and well ventilated room where I began my love affair with yoga. OMG! I was doing yoga and I was flowing through those poses.  Although I was at the tail end of my cold, I was still a little congested and stopped up. But I didn't pass out. Actually, the heat was manageable and quite necessary. Because of the perfectly heated room, I was able to bend and twist deeper than in any other yoga class i'd taken. Additionally, the heat allowed me to focus on breathing deliberately and deeply. The instructor, Layna, was a delight. There was something about her energy that just felt sincere and genuine. I just liked this chick. What I like most about Sweat Yoga is the fact that they encourage and support you in finding your own rhythm. It's NOT about choreography, but about the breath and listening to what YOUR body needs. Layna has us doing a lot of twisting; which is exactly what my uterus, womb and abdomen need. They play cool music and the class is ONLY one hour long. WhooHoo! I've been in seventh heaven.  When I leave Sweat Yoga, I know I've done something responsible for my body. I've found my perfect fit.

Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl- Fee King  

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@Yahollywoodfitnessgotogurl

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